With Catalina Ledezma
Catalina Ledezma is an intuitive reader, a Reiki master and a Kambo practitioner. Although she always had some spiritual life experience, growing upin a crazy household made her keep everything to herself, learning to be quiet and never wanting to step outside the normal stuff.
So when she grew older, she decided to settle down in her life. She had a good job and finally got married but all these could not ease her anxiety and in 2018, she went back to her worst state of depression. For a long time, she struggled with thoughts of suicide and other non-pleasant kinds of stuff.
One day, one of her friends advised her to try meditation as a possible way to approach her thoughts but being a Mexican, Catalina did not know anything about it. It wasn’t until her friend invited her for a shamanic sound bath that she felt like something deep inside her was just about to get released.
With the sound bath experience, she started going in and sitting in more circles and taking classes on how to learn about herbs and teas and stuff like that. She also learned to sit with herselffor three minutes and meditate and according to her, everything went off from there.
Even though Catalina was skeptical about everything at the beginning, her experience made her startfeeling all the energy. She realized that it was time to release all the sadness and all theattachments she had been holding onto in her life.
“I felt the release of all this sadness and all the stuff I had been holding and realized I couldn’t keep suppressing it anymore,” says Catalina.
She had been part of the MMA community where healing was through punching and kicking and suppressing everything on the mat. However, she started to realize that that was just doing more harm than good. Although MMA is a good way to build your strength, it can however lead you into neglecting your real self.
According to Catalina, she was taught that it’sjust about jogging and punching it out and surprisingly, that’s how a lot of her friends think they should deal with anything that goes wrong in their lives. Even though there are benefits to getting exercise, on the other hand, it’s just a way of neglecting what’s causing your feelings; it’s just a temporary relief where you just have to fake it till you make it.
Catalina had faked it enough to a good spot where she feltlike everything would be good. She was on her route to a happy track and happy life when suddenlyher depression came back worse than ever and that’s when she knew something had to change.
Learning her first modality
According to Catalina, shewas always into the cards like the Tarot cards but it is something she did in her closet sinceshe didn’t want anybody to know that she was somehow a “closet witch.”She found herself drawn to it but never wanted to admit it toherself.
She ended up enrolling in acourse and learned how to play with the cards and buildher confidence. She started pulling cards for her friends and to her, that’s what opened it all up. Butshe realized that what makes cards scary is the fact that they tell the truth which unfortunately a lot of people don’t want to see or hear.
Ittookher a while to find people who were comfortable with it and that helped her build her confidence since she was getting good feedback. She has since learnedthat it gives you more insight, guidance and clarity about a situation. Her advice is that you should take what resonates and leave what doesn’t because you have free will and nothing is set instone.
Even though you won’t like it whenever they’re honest with you, they will however show you the reality of the situation and from there, it’s up to you to choose the appropriate actions to address it.A lot of card readers also dwell mostly on self-love, self-care and doing self-work becausethey believe that you have to put yourself first to get things done by what’s true to you.
Although a lot of readers have turned out to be psychics, Catalina on her side is doing her best to navigate this information and come out as nicely and politely as possible especially if it’s something that needs to be addressed and can’t be ignored.
Since COVID-19, she started to feel for people who are ready to move on creatively and more positively. She feels that it’s the best time to find your life purpose. According to her, there are two types of people;those who are just grudging along and waiting for things to get back to normal and then there are thosewho are using it to turn inwards.
There is a lot of self-discovery when it comes to finding meaning and purpose through self-analysis. For the last two years, people were told to sit with themselves. Youneeded to start exploring more creative ventures and doing things that are more heart-based because you had the time to sit with yourself. It was a great time even for people who aren’t inclined towards business to start their businesses.
Getting introduced to Reiki
Just like in her sound bath journey, Catalina went into Reiki when her anxiety and depression were at a bad stage. When she had tried everything in her life to break out from being anxious and even went to the doctor and couldn’t find anything wrong, she decided to try Reiki.
She started a few sessions and realized she was getting better and evengot to like it. She noticed that when she was touched or when she nurtured someone she could feel the messages. For example, when she started practicing Reiki on one of her clients, she kept getting this message like; you should tell her to be careful because she’s going to get pregnant.
That became her first gift and shebecame more inclined towards being clairsentient. She ended uploving Reiki because, through it, shewas able to feel and get messages, see why there were blockages and offer help to her clients.
But even with Reiki, Catalina has come to realize that it’s hard for people to ease into it because whenever she tellspeople right off the batthat the hardest part is going to be for you to relax, people realize it’s really hard to relax.
“I was wrapped tight in certain parts of my life and anxious, but I could at least let go during a Reiki session. I’ve noticed with a lot of my clients that they would get in there and be excited but the minute I started doing Reiki on them, they’ll be like, oh my God, that was so hard to relax,” says Catalina.
Her Kambo healing experience
Catalina first heard about Kambo when she went to Peru for Ayahuasca. After she did Ayahuasca, she realizedshe needed more of acleanse and she heard that Kambo would help with that. She found a Kambo spot in Santa Ana and sat in a few sessions.
After the first time,she felt likeshe would never do that again. She took a day or two of rest before she felt that energetic shift as if something moved.For her, that’s how she experienced the benefits of Kambo for the first time.
Although Kambo itself wasn’t bad; the hardest part of her experiencewas probably the stinging in Sananga which she found to be a bit rough and she couldn’t do anything becauseshe had no idea what was going on. Moreover, she realized that it wasn’t easy to ask anybody about Kambo in Peru because everybody seemed to know nothing about it.That’s why according to Catalina, she thought she would have been more hesitant todo it back in the States.
At the Matses village, they suggested doing this medicinal practicewhere they whack your back with a thorny stick and this was supposed to give you a complete reboot and make you feel better than ever before.
The Ayahuasca healing journey experience
According to Catalina, she found Ayahuascato bemore spiritual and a real game changer since it opened up her channels and her healing journey was mainly physical and mental before but it changed into spiritual.
“First, I was just trying to get over the anxiety and depression. I wasn’t thinking about becoming spiritual. I just wanted to get better and Ayahuasca showed me just that” says Catalina.
There ismore to life than we believe andshe realized that as a child, shehad always been spiritually inclined. However, shesuppressed it because she thought spirituality was kind of ridiculous. Some people get into the scene just because they want to be spiritual and not to heal or do spiritual practices. They want to look and call themselves spiritual.
Although she did her best to fit into society by doing all the normal things and trying to forget about spirituality, all these never made her happy. That’s when she realized that there was something wrong with her.
Sometimes, the feeling of depression can be a result of people not pursuing their sole purpose even though that’s what you are supposed to do. You need to start hearing that inner call to yourself without just trying to fit into what people say or do.
Occasionally, youneed a little isolation to see some information that opens our perspectives. However, the road to healing is always lonely and a lot of people find themselves isolated at first. It’s a hard process that many people don’t want to do or relate to.
However, according to Catalina, there are numerous benefits of being alone. For example, it helps you learn to do your inner work because there arethings you have to do alone since no one can do them for you. Secondly, it helps you not to worry about having to look or behave a certain way for someone; you can just be the way you are.
According to Catalina, she was constantly worried about how she appeared to other people, what they thought about her orhowshe appeared to other people. But by being alone out there, she learned to accept herself and make good impressions without having to look perfect to everybody.
Although she had gotten used to living a certain way, Catalina’s trip to Peru gave her a change in perspective towards the life she had been living before. For example, when she came back, everything became different andvery eye-opening. She had to look at her relationship with her parents whom she realizedwere not resonating with her anymore.
Although they had helped her grow to a certain level, she now feltthat her time had come when she had to step out and grow in her own ways.
At some point, she felt like she had wasted time doing a lot of stuff that was not for her good however everything was meant for a purpose.She had to choose whether she wanted to continue her parent’s route and stay comfortable or step into the unknown and see what more there was for her to explore.
And so when Catalina came back from Peru, every day was like a new day and she never knew what was going to happen. According to her, she was no longer living with any expectations and soshe decided to make new schedules for herself.
We’re supposed to be free and be able to explore ourselves. Although routines are good as they help you have some stability in everything, it’s also okay to go outside of it and try new things. For example, by travelling and meeting new people and doing all the good stuff, you learn more about yourself as you add the fulfilment and the enjoyment of your experience to your life.
It’s, really eye-opening to know how much is out there that you don’t have any idea about. Even though Catalina has learned a lot these past few years, she feels that there’s still so much more to do and explore.
She wants to do the healing and spiritual journey and just explore the rest of her life. She wants to travel and do a lot of healing and readings. Her journey to Peru just made her feel like she had been living so many yearswithout feeling the impact of her life.
“I’ve been alive so many years but I barely feel like I’m living. It’s in the journey that made me really like for a moment feel sad, but at the same time, it really woke me up because it made me feel like, okay, I’m the one that has to take charge of my life,” says Catalina.
According to Catalina, it was her time to draw her lines byfocusing on herself and doing what she thought was important to her without the risk of losing her family and friends. She was done and according to her, you know you’re done when you’re not mad, not upset, not angry and you just feel nothing towards it.
Youknow what to do when it comes down to the end of it where you have to draw those boundaries or walk away. You get to a point where you are no longer everybody’s favorite person because, at the end of it all, it’s your life to live.
You have to drop some people as you also meet others who have a lot in common with you and you findyourself in new relationships where you both have greater potential for growth and expansion.
According to Catalina, you are the creator of your own destiny. You can make your future look pretty if you choose to do the work. You only need to get creative, have fun and do your own thing. You don’t have to be shy butjust give yourself a chance andgo out there.
Would you love to do a reading,a Reiki session or a Kambo session with Catalina? You can reach out to her through her Instagram page @theintuitivehomegirl44 to have a courtesy connection.
She does the consultations through her Instagram page before moving forward to work with somebody because she believes that it’s not beneficial for her and the clients to work without any connection. After all, you have to be open-minded to these modalities for them to work for you.
In case you have had bad experiences, you can learn from herbecauseshe believes that all experiences are meant for you to learn and grow.For more information on this and other spiritual awakening episodes, you can hook up with the Dystopian Renaissance on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube or find their website at www.thedystopianrenaissance.com.